I’m fortunate to not be afraid of many things. I don’t like heights, but I still can muster up the courage to head up, albeit slowly a ladder to hang Christmas ornaments. Roller Coasters also freak me out but I have so far been able to still convince my son that he has to ride them with mom because I am allergic. That should still work for another year if I’m lucky. But the one fear I cannot mask is that of Spiders. I am simply terrified of them. I don’t care if it’s a little dust spider I freak and have someone else step on it. I can even so much as look at one without getting the chills. I remember when Arachnophobia (a condition I really do have) came out and all my friends told me how funny it was. There was nothing funny about it. I could not sleep for days. I had my eyes shut through most of the last half and was still terrified. Because of that I avoided stuff like Eight Legged Freaks, Giant Spider, Lava Spider, basically anything with a spider. But when the good people at Scream Factory asked me to review a new film coming out called Itsy Bitsy I said sure. Then I saw the poster with big spider legs and thought “Ohh God no!” Still I logged on and sat down for what I knew would be a frightening time.
Its Bitsy comes out running. We see a voodoo type ceremony when a bunch of painted up cannibal looking folks cut open a web light a fire drink some blood, or poison or something of that nature while flashes of a big ass spider pop up. It was within those first two minutes I started sweating. We then fast forward and meet Kara. She’s your typical single mom raising two little kids who gets a job taking care of an elderly man named Walter. He’s a wealthy man who needs a private nurse to take care of him as he suffers from crippling multiple sclerosis. It’s a pretty good gig. Here and her kids get to live in the big guest house and the pay is fantastic. Apart from her oldest son Jessie being in full on angst from having to move and leave his friends behind everything is good. Her daughter, Cammy doesn’t mind living there at all.
Well it turns out that Walter is an appraiser and collector of antiques and oddities. One night he is brought the black egg from the ceremony we saw in the beginning. A deal was made but as the man bringing Walter the egg lost a loved one getting it he demands more money for his troubles. Walter refuses and the two have words. The man storm off leaving the egg as Kara and her family arrive and start to get settled in. Things seem a bit odd at first but tend to work out quickly. Cammy loves exploring the giant home and Jessie even bonds with Walter. In fact he begins helping Walter with all the antiques around the home.
Unfortunately things don’t stay happy as our man who brought the egg is still mad he didn’t get a bigger hunk of cash for it. He sneaks back into the hose and after panicking smashes the egg. Unfortunately it contains a giant cave spider that bites him before scurrying off. By giant I mean giant. Not hokey big like a monster movie but very big, like a few feet tall and wide. Its also mean and poisonous. Our would be robber flees to his car but is overcome by the poison and dies shortly after. Now the spider decides to stick around and begins moving from Walters house to the guest house where Kara and her family live. It also likes to go to the attic to lay hundreds of spider eggs. From there it gets even more terrifying as the family has to contend with a giant killer spider and its hatchlings.
This film scared the hell out of me. I had a hard time sitting through it actually covering my eyes and getting the chills at certain points. Let me tell you that big ass hairy spider is terrifying. I wear short to bed, and every time my blanket so much as moved I jumped out of bed thinking a spider was on me. I swear every speck of dust I saw was a killer spider. And I must say this spider is deadly. Glowing eyes, ability to split in half, fast, just horrifying.
The films looked great with a solid cast and a tight script. It moved quickly and the effects both CG and practical were great. To great as I swear that thing was real. Scream Factory has put this one out on Blu-ray following it's vod release, and the transfer looks great. They even filled it with special features
Audio Commentary With Director/Writer Micah Gallo
Audio Commentary With Director/Writer Micah Gallo And Writers Bryan Dick And Jason Alvino
The Spider: Beginnings
Itsy Bitsy: The Journey
Denise On Set
The Most Spidery Spider – Andy Dick Screen Tests For Itsy Bitsy
Overall I hated the film because it made my scared and cold, and jittery. However that is the sign of a good horror movie so I have to give it a high mark. If your scared of spiders you will be very afraid of this film and scared for days after. If your not scared of spiders you will be after watching Itsy Bitsy.
Overall 3.5 out of 5 Stars!