Ex-WWE superstar Marty Jannetty may have confessed to murdering someone when he was 13 years old in a bizarre social media post ... and now cops are investigating.
The former member of the tag team "The Rockers" told a story on Facebook about trying to buy weed from a man who worked at a bowling alley in his home town when things went awry.
"I was 13, working at Victory Lanes bowling alley buying weed from a f** that worked there ... and he put his hands on me ... he dragged me around the back of the building ... you already know what he was gonna try to do."
Jannetty continued, "That was the very first time I made a man disappear. They never found him. They shoulda looked in the Chattahoochie River."
Now, the Columbus Police Dept. in Georgia tells us straight up, "We are going to look into this."
In fact, a spokesperson from the homicide/cold case division says, "The first step will be seeing if we have any missing persons or unidentified remains cases that match the limited information in the post."
The CPD notes that they have "several current active homicide investigations underway and they will have to remain the priority" -- so, it won't be an all hands on deck situation right now.
We've reached out to Jannetty for comment several times -- but haven't heard back. The Facebook post has since been removed from his page.
From Kayfabe News
Professional sports-entertainer Brockley “Brock” Lesnar made a rare public appearance this week at a county fair in rural Saskatchewan to enter — and win! — the bikini contest, thanks to a sexy little number he found in his wife’s closet.
Lesnar’s wife, Sable, debuted the outfit — blank handprints covering the nippular area of each mammary — twenty-two years ago, much to the delight of Jerry Lawler, who shouted “puppies” to demonstrate his fondness for mostly nude, surgically enhanced bosoms.
Lesnar, whose cup size is approximately the same as his wife, threw off his glittering bathrobe during the competition to reveal his handprinted beastboobs, leaving many in the audience simultaneously aroused and terrified.
Sources close to Lesnar say he is currently considering a Playboy deal.
From Kayfabe News:
Continuing its transition from the so-called “PG Era” to an edgier, adult-themed television product, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that its superstars will do battle amid barbed wire, fluorescent light tubes and other flesh-ripping weaponry.
WWE inaugural GoreFest of Death tournament, to be held August 11 in the backyard behind the company’s Orlando Performance Center, promises to be the “sickest, bloodiest cavalcade of blood” in wrestling history.
According to WWE executive Hunter H. Helmsley, the tournament will include the following matches, featuring a number of new WWE signees from the independent deathmatch scene:
No-Rope-Electrified-Barbed-Wire-Panes-of-Glass Deathmatch: The Usos vs. Nick Gage & Matt Tremont
10,000-Thumbtack-Exploding-Bomb-Triple-Threat Deathmatch: Masada vs. John Cena vs. Mad Man Pondo
Barbed-Wire-Spidernet-Scaffold Deathmatch: Seth Rollins vs. New Jack
Razor-Board-Gusset-Plate-Bed-of-Scissors-Barefoot Deathmatch: Ruby Riott vs. Mickey Knuckles
10-Man-Triple-Hell-Flaming-Rope-No-Canvas-Fans-Bring-the-Weapons Death Scramble: Braun Strowman vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Necro Butcher vs. Brock Lesnar vs. Warhed vs. Ricochet vs. Rickey Shane Page vs. R-Truth vs. John Zandig vs. Dominick Mysterio
While many fans are excited about the chance to watch emotionally damaged men cut themselves, longtime wrestling personality Jim Cornette argues that the event is “an insult to traditional deathmatch wrestling pioneered by Big Japan Pro Wrestling, Combat Zone Wrestling, and the wonderful IWA Mid-South.”
From Kayfabe News
Dominick Reymond Mysterio Jr. Junior shocked fans of professional sports-entertaining today when he revealed that he is not the biological son of legendary masked WWE superstar Rey Mysterio, as a DNA test has proven that Eddie Guerrero was Dominick’s Papi.
The Mysterio family appeared as guests today on The Maury Povich Show, during which the shocking tests of a papipternity test confirmed the longstanding rumours about Guerrero’s papihood.
“Rey-Rey, when it comes to young Dominick, you are… not… the papi,” said Povich as a studio audience of ninnies brayed moronically.
Mysterio then tore off his mask in dismay and dashed teary-eyed backstage, where he was seen muttering: “I knew it, I knew it. I even saw it on a t-shirt.”
Guerrero’s papiternity of Dominick has been a topic of hot debate for years, with many in the anti-Papi camp arguing that the late, great wrestler had a propensity to lie, cheat, and/or steal.
From Kayfabe News
Few documentaries have exposed the seedy underbelly of professional wrestling as comprehensively or cornettishly as Dark Side of the Ring.
The VICE series, of which two seasons have aired, revisits notorious moments in wrestling history, from the slapping of John Stossel to the death of Bruiser Brody to the testicular electrocution of Shane McMahon.
The show’s third season is in production now, and Kayfabe News has obtained, via a confidential source who asked to be identified only as Fit F., the line-up of topics to be unraveled.
Although the card is always subject to change, here is the current plan for season three:
SE3, Ep.1: Raising Kane: The Funeral Home Fire and Katie Vick
SE3, Ep. 2: Tremors: Earthquake’s Squishing of Damian
SE3, EP. 3: Papa Shango’s Curse — The Ultimate Undoing
SE3, EP. 4.: Mae Young’s Baby Hand: Tragedy, Triumph, and High Fives
SE3 EP. 5: Ian Rotten: From Deathmatch Wrestler to Billionaire Hedge Fund Manager
SE3, EP. 6: The Montreal Handjob
SE3 EP7: The Punt Heard ‘Round the World — Snitsky and the Baby
SE3 EP8: DOMESTIC TERRORISM: The McMahon Limo Bombing
Christmas Special: The Tragic Tale of Xanta Claus
Kayfabe News also received a leaked script for the upcoming season of Total Bellas, but the nuanced complexities of the multi-layered narrative structure were beyond our comprehension.
From Kayfabe News
Legendary professional wrestler The Undertaker has teased retirement from the ring for several years now, and it seems The Deadman is already transitioning to a new career as a hip hop recording artist, according to TMZ.
The Undertaker (real name Theodore Undertaker) has reportedly spent the past three weeks holed up in a Los Angeles recording studio with veteran producer Rick Rubin, laying tracks for an album tentatively titled Da Phenom: My Yard.
Although no official comment has been issued regarding the album, leaked documents reveal what appears to be a preliminary track list for the album:
Rest in Pieces (ft. Fred Durst)
This ain’t yo yard
Buried Alive (ft. Eminem)
I Go to Work (Kool Moe Dee cover)
For Whom the Bell Tolls (ft. James Hetfield)
Bonus track (Japan only): My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion cover)
One anonymous source who claims to have heard one of the recording sessions described it as “absolutely terrible” and “much better than Enzo Amore’s stuff.”
Jim Cornette and his wife Stacey are the latest to be hit with sexual misconduct allegations, stemming from his time in OVW. Independent wrestler Phil Earley posted to Twitter on Thursday detailing allegations against Cornette and his wife Stacy, saying that Cornette’s wife Stacey, who worked in OVW as Synn, attempted to groom him early in his time in the wrestling business, sending him unasked for lewd photos and attempting to groom him for sexual purposes. Earley alleged that Cornette would require talent to “perform sexual acts on his wife, many times with him watching.” Below is his full tweet (pics not included)
“I made a very vague post yesterday about @TheJimCornette.
In the face of current events I feel the need to clarify and speak up.
During my first year in the business, his wife, Stacy, attempted to groom me.
She approached via DM, sent me lewd photos I never asked for, implied protection from the Kentucky commission (stating he was a family friend), and told me she WAS going to f*ck me, as if I didn’t have a choice.
My experience with them is tame compared to others, though.
When Jim was booking at OVW, if you wanted a contract or on his show, you HAD to perform sexual acts on his wife, many times with him watching. This has happened for many, MANY people.
A close friend of mine was groomed and basically brainwashed by them for YEARS. When he finally escaped, Stacy went to great lengths to not only terrorize him, but to actively try to have other wrestlers physically assault him.
I was one of them. She sent me pictures show tires of his he’s slashed, and bragging about setting him up to lose his job, his apartment, even his car.
All because he escaped an extremely toxic relationship and didn’t want anything to do with them.
Stacy bragged about being able to call the Kentucky commission to give him ‘targets’. He was a family friend, and if she wanted, she could turn his attention to anyone licensed in the state to potentially hurt, and sometimes even ruin their careers.
When he says ‘cult of cornette’, it’s because he has a history of taking advantage of greenhorns using his power and position as booker for OVW in order to fufill his and his wife’s sexual desires.
They used their place of power to hurt many, many people.
No one wants to speak up because of his position in wrestling, but this is EXTREMELY common knowledge among OVW alumni.
This will probably ruin a lot of opportunities in wrestling, and that’s fine, but make no mistake: Jim Cornette is trash. He and his wife have made power plays in order to hurt many, many people.
f*ck you Jim. f*ck you Stacy. You are scum.
I just feel like I betrayed the school that let me learn the craft of professional wrestling. OVW is the reason I turned my life around. And I feel like I’ve betrayed them. That’s how messed up wrestling can be.
My hands are shaking and I’m scared sh*tless over typing this.
If it was a man sending a woman unwanted nudes, telling them how they WERE going to f*ck them, and tried to get them to actively commit crimes to hurt others, no one would tell me ‘I don’t see anything wrong with this.’
I hated it and how it made me feel.”
Earley’s comments led to Mike Braddock, a former OVW heavyweight champion, posting to Twitter to allege that Cornette “sent Stacy after me to recruit me,” although he didn’t take the bait. Earley has retweeted another comment from a user who said they “personally watched Jimmy and Synn chase an 18 or 19 year old hostess at cheddars, offering alcohol among other things to get her back to the ‘hot tub’.” OVW alumni Body Guy also backed up the allegations.
Credit 411 Mania for article
From Kayfabe News
Professional wrestler John Cena has been stripped of his doctorate in Thuganomics after an investigation by the American Thuganomics Association revealed egregious malpractice.
Cena, who earned his Thuganomics PhD in 2003, has been deemed unfit to practice Thuganomics anywhere in North America due to “behaviour unbecoming of a Doctor of Thuganomics,” according to a report issued by the ATA.
“Mr. Cena’s incessant smiling, wise-cracking and pandering to young audiences runs contrary to the fundamental tenets of Thuganomics,” says the report.
“Cena has not performed any thuganomical duties in years, nor even mentioned the noble profession of Thuganomics. We have therefore determined that Mr. Cena is incapable of continuing his thugonomical practice.”
Cena will be forced to rescind his Thuganomical equipment (chains, basketball jerseys), and he will no longer be allowed to perform even Basic Thuganomics.
It is unclear whether his membership in the Chain Gang will be revoked, or if he’ll face impeachment from his presidency of the Cenation.
From Kayfabe News
Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, announced at a press conference this morning that the mixed martial arts league will “kick things up a notch” with the introduction of ladder matches.
“This ain’t your daddy’s MMA,” White said, sitting atop the 20-foot ladder that fighters will have to climb in order to seize the UFC championship belt dangling above the Octagon.
Critics are accusing White of once again ripping off ideas from professional wrestling, just like he did with cage matches, bombastic characters, scripted finishes, and overhyping CM Punk.
White announced that the first ladder match in UFC will pit Lightweight Champion Conor McGregor against Eddie Alvarez.
While McGregor is highly proficient in Brazilian jiu-stepclimb, Alvarez is a master of the stepmill who once jogged up the stairs of the Eiffel Tower.
According to a leaked script, McGregor will come close to clinching the title, only to be betrayed by his supposed ally, James Ellsworth, who will topple the ladder and send McGregor careening into a gaggle of scantily clad Octagon Girls.
From Kayfabe News
Despite weeks of hype promoting the showdown between Edge (SURNAME UNKNOWN) and Randy Orton as the Greatest Wrestling Match Ever, the pre-taped bout — which will air tonight during the WWE Backsplash — was quite the opposite.
Fans and experts who have seen a leaked recording of the match, which began circulating the internet last night, described it as “dreadful,” “hard to watch,” and “the worstest wrestling match ever.”
Longtime wrestling journalism Dan Mutzler rated the match with an unprecedented “negative 37 stars,” thus ranking it lower than even the one house show match between the Great Khali and the Yeti (pronounced yet-tay).
WWE honcho Vince McMahon was reportedly “furious” about the match, which included the following lowlights:
Edge attempted to begin the match with a sudden spear, but tripped over his own boot lace and fell face first into the referee’s groin
Orton’s ring entrance, despite requiring only 15 paces due to the small size of the WWE Performance Center, lasted 75 minutes.
While pounding his fists on the mat to psyche himself up for an RKO, Orton accidentally shattered both wrists and elbows, as well as, inexplicably, Edge’s left eardrum.
During on particularly long boston crab, Orton appeared to fall asleep for several minutes.
Orton only realizes halfway through the match that, as a rib, someone backstage had pooped in his boots, and his hasty removal of those boots causes a chain reaction of vomiting among commentators and ringside personnel.
Due to a clerical error, the match was given a 14 minute time limit, which, due to to the timekeeper’s violent nausea, was sadly not enforced, and the match ran 89 minutes (132 counting entrances).
Even the “trainees” who usually cheer and boo and bang on plexiglass on command started a “borrrring” chant after the first flubbed sequences of arm drags.
According to an inside source, who asked to be identified only as Velveteen D., a heavily edited version of the match, enhanced with canned cheering and CGI footage, will air tonight during Backlash. You’ve been warned!