From Kayfaybe News
The Undertaker is one of the most mysterious and captivating sports-entertainers in modern history, but not many people realize his first WWE run was not quite as successful under the moniker “Crush.”
The man who would go on to become The Deadman started as a third member of Demolition, alongside Smash and Thrasher, who later went on to become The Headbangers.
As part of Demolition, Crush and Smash battled legendary tag teams including the Killer Bees, The Legion of Doom (Animal and Heidenreich), and The New New Midnight Rock and Roll Express V2 (Timothy Well and Stephen Dunn, managed by Oliver Humperdink).
When Demolition disbanded, the future Deadman performed as a repackaged “Kona Crush,” a Hawaiian surfer gimmick that was a hit with children and intellectually simple adults.
“Crush was just my real personality, but turned up to 11,” says The Undertaker (real name Cal Markowitz) in the new WWE Network docu-series: Dead Man Talkin’. “The character felt like a real extension of me.”
Unfortunately, the wrestler would soon be saddled with an undead mortician gimmick, which he spent the next 20 years struggling to get “over” with wrestling fans, who near-unanimously preferred the Crush character.
Asked in the documentary whether he will revive his surfer alter-ego for one “last surf,” he is cagey: “Anything can happen in the WWE,” The Undertaker replied with his trademark giggle.
From Kayfaybe News
Fans of professional sports-entertaining have been binge-watching the Vice series “Dark Side of the Ring,” which chronicles wrestling tragedies. An upcoming episode will be all about the baby Snitsky punted.
Narrator Mick Foley invokes a sombre tone as the episode begins: “In late 2004, the larger-than-life spectacle of WWE became all too real for six-week-old Timmy Dumas-Jacobs.”
Dimly dramatic re-enactments re-tell the heartbreaking story of how Timmy, the illegitimate son born to Lita and Kane was brutally punted into the 17th row by Eugene “Gene” Snitsky, who has since denied any fault for the incident.
Thankfully the baby survived (early reports that it was a “doll” were quickly debunked) and is now 16, living with
Other episodes of Dark Side of the Ring fans can expect in the upcoming season:
The McMahon Limo Tragedy
It Was Vince All Along
The Untold Truth About the Great Khali
The Great WWE Hall of Fame Fire of 2015
A new spin-off show called “Dark Side of Dark Side of the Ring” will reveal the seedy underbelly and untold tales of the wrestling-documentary industry, premiering Wednesday called “Beyond Beyond the Mat.”
From Kayfaybe News:
Popular Irish sports-entertainer Rebecca “Becky” Lynch shocked fans of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Monday when she announced she is expecting a child, but one big question remains: who is the father?
Given WWE’s long history of surprise pregnancies — from Lita’s miscarried punt-baby to Mae Young’s hand — and the question of paternity often leads to entertaining intrigue and mystery.
When Lynch announced her pregnancy on Raw, she did not reveal the identity of the father — and we may never know unless she goes on the Maury Povich Show.
But our team of experts used computer-modelling and statistical analysis to produce this tally of the top candidates:
The big many is riding high with his recent Money in the Bank victory, which makes him arguably the greatest superstar in pro wrestling history. Would it be any wonder if Becky and Otis became WWE’s new power couple? Sources close to Otis say he has been talking about his desire to be a father to some lightweight machinery
Petite, beautiful, and Irish. Hornswoggle is a beautiful specimen, and Becky ain’t too shabby herself. What a pair they’d make! But can the build a life together, with a child, in Swoggle’s home under the ring.
Sexual Chocolate Mark Henry
According to lore, women get pregnant just by being in the same building as Mark Henry. He once impregnated an entire busload of swimsuit models just by smiling at them. Whether he impregnated Becky Lynch remains unknown, but given his incredible virility and, it’s not out of the question to assume that Sexual Chocolate goes nicely with Irish Cream.
Despite his advanced age, Mr. McMahon reportedly keeps the “grapefruits juicy” and the “genetic jackhammer hammering.” According to one unconfirmed rumor, McMahon has enough power within WWE to impregnate merely by writing a strongly-worded memo about it. Once he made Sensational Sheri pregnant just by faxing her a picture of himself shirtless.
We’re not saying he is definitely father, but McMahon was reportedly overheard saying backstage at Raw today: “It was me. It was me all along.”
From Kayfaybe News
The world of professional sports-entertaining saw a seismic shift today World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) was purchased by ESPN — this will totally be our lead (or “lede”) if/when this happens.
The sale, estimated to be valued at $53.3 trillion, means that the McMahon family no longer holds a stranglehold on the wrestling industry — that’d be a good second line.
Anyone know if this sale has happened? My buddy’s brother’s coworker is Facebook friends with The Blue Meanie, and he posted a link to a story by Brad Shepherd saying the sale was a “done deal,” so it seems locked?
We should probably confirm via a second reliable source, like Meltzer or Val Venis. That’s the kind of fact-checking that makes Kayfabe News the world’s most reliable source of wrestling news.
UPDATE, APR. 29, 5:26pm ET: No official word yet. We will keep you posted as this story develops.
UPDATE, APR. 29, 5:45pm ET: Still nada. Might make nachos. BRB. We will keep you posted blah blah.
From Kayfaybe News
WrestleMania is the biggest WWE event of year, and the 36th edition earlier this month continued a longtime WrestleMania tradition of breaking attendance records of the venue in which they are held.
For WrestleMania 36, the Performance Center and surrounding parking lot hosted nearly the entire WWE roster and production staff, setting a new Performance Center attendance record of 73.
The previous record of 67 was set during the construction of the Performance Center, on a particularly busy Wednesday when the plumbing, electrical, and AC were all being installed.
The Performance Centre is not as large as other WrestleManias, like the Pontiac Silverdome (WrestleMania 3 crowd: 93,173) or the New Orleans Mercedes Benz Silverdome, which has hosted two WrestleManias and one equally smelly refuge for hurricane flood victims.
This year’s WrestleMania was able to set the Performance Center attendance record partly because the event was spread over two nights. Based on the incredible success of the event, the company announced this week that WrestleMania 37 will unfold over nine consecutive days.
WWE is saddened to learn that Howard Finkel has passed away at age 69.
When considering the greatest ring announcers in the history of sports and sports-entertainment, you'd be hard-pressed to name one better than Howard Finkel. A native of Newark, NJ, "The Fink" — a label that had been attached affectionately to Howard over the years — made his ring announcing debut at Madison Square Garden in 1977 for WWE's predecessor, WWWF.
By 1979, Finkel was the full-time ring announcer for WWWF, and when WWE was established in 1980, The Fink became the first — and eventually longest-serving — employee. Finkel's distinctive voice was instantly recognizable, and for more than two decades Superstars such as The Ultimate Warrior, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and more would have a title victory marked by The Fink's signature call, "and NNNEEEWWW World Champion!"
Despite being a ring announcer, Finkel didn't shy away from in-ring competition in certain circumstances. In 1995, he battled his longtime rival Harvey Wippleman in a Tuxedo Match on Raw, and later helped X-Pac shave Jeff Jarrett's head in a Hair vs. Hair Match at SummerSlam 1998.
In addition to his legendary tenure as a ring announcer, The Fink was an indispensable resource inside the WWE offices for his vast knowledge of sports-entertainment history. Well respected by current Superstars, WWE Legends and Hall of Famers, Finkel's encyclopedic memory and kindness made him beloved among his colleagues. The Fink was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame on April 4, 2009.
WWE extends its condolences to Finkel's family, friends and fans.
WWE will be allowed to continue filming its weekly television shows after Florida governor Ron DeSantis declared the sports entertainment brand is an “essential business” amid the state’s stay-at-home order caused by the coronavirus pandemic.
“I think initially there was a review that was done and they were not initially deemed an essential business,” Orange County Mayor Jerry Demings said at a press conference Monday, per the Miami Herald. “With some conversation with the governor’s office regarding the governor’s [stay-at-home] order, they were deemed an essential business. Therefore, they were allowed to remain open.”
The company had begun filming shows without audiences at their privately-owned Performance Center in Orlando once more states began banning large gatherings to prevent further spread of the virus. WWE also pre-taped their flagship pay-per-view, WrestleMania, ahead of Orlando’s stay-at-home order in addition to pre-taping multiple episodes of their other shows.
Credit Variety For Article
From Kayfabe News
Professional wrestling impresario and the world’s most unlucky football entrepreneur Vince McMahon announced this week that the second incarnation of his doomed XFL has suspended operations, and will make a triumphant comeback in 18 years.
Both the original XFL of 2001 and the recent reboot of 2019 have suffered unforeseen setbacks, most recently the toilet paper crisis that has citizens everywhere staying home, presumably wiping their nether regions.
McMahon says “18 years between colossal failures is a good span, quite frankly,” and promised that he would bring back the XFL for a “Third Time’s the Charm Super Bowldown” in Saudi Arabia 18 years from this July.
In the meantime, McMahon is reportedly considering starting a golf league to compete with the PGA.
From Kayfaybe News:
For decades, professional wrestling has required its viewership to temporarily suspend disbelief to enjoy the preposterous spectacle of spandex-clad characters performing simple morality plays in athletic exhibitions of implausible simulated combat.
But given that WWE’s sports-entertainers must now either showboat to an audience of no one, or perform in b-movie cinematic vignettes like the battle between The Undertaker and AJ Styles in a “Halloween Hootenanny” match, the permanent suspension of disbelief is recommended for all wrestling fans starting immediately.
“Quite frankly,” said WWE boss Vince McMahon in a conference call this morning, “fans may want to turn off disbelief all together. Quite frankly, reality isn’t very nice right now, quite frankly.”
Tonight’s instalment of WrestleMania is expected to feature a match pitting Braun Strowman against Optimus Prime, and the long-awaited rematch Cesaro vs. a blue whale.
From Kayfaybe News
World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced today that, as part of its ongoing efforts to drum up interest its upcoming empty-arena WrestleMania event, a third night has been added, with matches broadcast from the so-called “Mecca of professional wrestling,” the Impact Zone.
The soundstage at Universal Studios in Orlando — just a short drive from WWE’s rookie training gym and indoctrination camp, the WWE Performance Center — is the former home of TNA (Tits N’ Ass) Wrestling, which later changed its name to Ring of Honor.
Due to regulations banning gatherings of more than 10 people amid the Corinovirus outbreak, the Impact Zone will have just a tiny complement of fans on hand, as usual.
The Impact Zone is where many of today’s top WWE stars honed their skills. AJ Styles, for instance, had a brief but unremarkable run in TNA as the masked character “Suicide.” Daniel Bryan was a TNA fan-favorite, performing under the ring name “Chris Sabin,” alongside partner Alex Shelly (now known in WWE as Fandango).
WrestleMania will mark the triumphant return of pro wrestling to the Impact Zone, which for the past five years has been home to a pack of feral cats and Brooke Hogan.